Year 2009 resolution

after an uneventful year of 2008, i just wonder what i should plan for my 2009. i have to admit i'm not one who can keep the momentum to accomplish my plan, that's why my year 2008 plan is nothing but ruined.

anyway, plan is always a plan, and it's nice to write it down :)

1. more study - self improvement is endless journey. i want to get myself certified in Java;
2. music - it has been years since i want to learn guitar, maybe it's time to pick them up :P;
3. God - needless to say, but it's time to go home;
4. family - live strong, stay strong, love strong;

my only prayer on the list, please grant me wisdom and love and patience and forgiveness along the way to achieve all these. please help me to trust in You more and more and i can live my life with HOPE. i might not be a good child but You are always there, this one i am sure. thanks for everything You have given, every comfort You gave, every moment we have shared, and i look forward the coming year!!

True Fitness @ PJ

Today is my first training session with True Fitness. The trainer's name is Hanafi and his main task on me now is to make me a stronger person physically. Today's session was an "easy" one according to him, but I really felt damn tired on my body because it has been a long while since my last real exercise. He was teaching me how to stretch my body, and strengthen my body parts through various machines.

To me, the toughest would be the abdominal workout. My tummy is getting bigger yet there is no strength. So I couldn't finish the workout in one shot (that's only 20 times, yet I stopped 3 times to complete... how pitiful!!!). But in overall it was a good one because that teaches me how to use these machines safely and effectively.

So what's my expected result?? A better toned body in 3-6 months!!!

New Start @ PJ

It's a new week, new month and new start for my work. Finally I am out of previous job and join Scope International (a subsidiary company of StanChart) as a Senior programmer. While the pay is not really attractive, but it's a whole new environment for me as I have never worked for such a big company (> 2k staffs in Malaysia... excluding the real bank staff).

So what do I expect from here? Career advancement is quite competitive here (imagine you are fighting a small bun with 2000 over people), politics are everywhere (according to some other friends who work/worked here), but then it's a real fast-paced environment and you won't expect to be very relaxed and free. Everyone seems to be hardworking (of course people still have tea break), that actually force lazy people like me to work harder because every single minute is your chance to perform/outperform. No complaints yet on the working hours as I am still new and nothing much for me except source codes reading. Later when there are tasks for me then I will know the taste (can be extremely busy... ).

Until now, I am thankful because I believe God is there. He won't be sitting there but helping me to be a better person. I need to talk more to Him as I want to learn banking knowledge here. It's kind of useful because nowadays there are so many companies which do financial solutions. He is right here and always ready to stretch His hands when I call upon Him.

Hmm... I guess He will be giving me the answer of my other doubt... just in His own SWEET TIME !!!

Purpose Finding

finally attended the church last night... feel we are back with a mission and thought we might be able to see some changes... too bad it still the same old cold-hard place. i think we are quite disappointed because everything still seems "on the surface" things. those who think they are superbly spiritual still in their ways, those who have "no-bother" attitude still have them... i just wonder why God wants us to go back, whereby we can just go to another one for a new fresh start. this church... almost no room for people to make mistake. it's either you do it good, be obedient all the time, or just keep quiet all the time. too bad we are not, and i do believe everyone of us will have a time to fall, and it's up to our brothers and sisters to help out and bring back to God's place. but here, once you fall (maybe like us, again and again), there will be no room for you to serve, or even say something.

well, we might need to pray hard again (she i guess, i don't own this power), to see clearly what He wants us to do in this church... if not... need to leave again??!

what should i do next??

how do you feel when you are tired, wanting to rest for a while but God said the timing is not right yet?

i was asking for the timing, chances, etc.. but there was no answer... instead God asked me to turn back to Him, seek for Him and He will provide the answer some time, some where, some how.

obedience is always something a Christ follower needs and yet hard to fulfill. we have so many wishes, desires that God is not intended to give us at this moment, but we are child-like and keep asking. feel like He just blocks me from going anywhere... waiting might be the only option now... although i don't understand but i can only choose to obey... to fulfill His purpose on me.

to work or not to work

i think there must be something wrong with me... all my application have either failed or no response... what happened??! am i that bad that i can't even get a job where other ex-colleagues can get??? whereby everyone is so confident i can get the offer... or it just some false illusion that i am NOT capable AT ALL??!

i am tired... i am bored... i need to stop awhile and think what i should do next.

sinfulness... please leave me at once!!!

Book Reading

Currently I think I'll need to do more reading to improve my interpersonal + technical skills. So last weekend I went to Borders @ the Curve and found these 2 books to read.

1. Head First - Design Pattern
Will be learning the different proven design patterns which can be applied to daily programming task. Didn't buy this book and found BT for it :P
2. How To Win Friends & Influence People
Classic book from Dale Carnagie. Has heard a lot about him and this book but had no chance to take a look before this. Bought the book at 33.90 and finished the first chapter (the chapter is short and makes you have time to digest it). So the keyword is "NO condemn, complain, or criticize."